From Fetishes to Fantasies at Fact to Fiction

July 22, 2011

Okay, so we’ve opened up about writer fetishes, but what about your writer fantasies? I know you have them. After all, you wouldn’t have fetishes without fantasies.

I’ll go first, and then I hope you’ll join in…

The most obvious fantasy is getting “The Call,” the one where the agent calls and says, “I love your book. I have to represent you. You’re going to be the next Great American Author!” or something to that affect. That call, of course will be followed by another call from your new and now harried agent who tells you, “Can’t talk now, just wanted to let you know we’re in a bidding war with several publishers for print (and digital) rights to your book.” Finally, your book has been sold for an exorbitant amount of money, and your agent calls again to congratulate you for being on the NYT best sellers list. Did I say on the list? I meant number one!

This last call, of course, happens while you’re on your whirlwind book tour, which is a whole other fantasy…talk shows, signing autographs. Oprah Winfrey does a special program just to interview you about your book, and you sign more autographs.

Over the top? Well if you’re going to dream, dream BIG right?

So aren’t there days when you’re in your favorite bookstore browsing titles, looking for something new by your favorite author and suddenly you land in the “J” section between Miranda Jarrett and Catherine Jones. (Well, maybe you don’t, but I do because my last name is Jewett.) You push the books aside to make a spot for your next title. Yep, right there, that’s where it goes.

Have you planned your book party yet? You know the big celebration that you’ll be throwing when that first book is released. Something swanky, black tie and champagne. You’ll need a fabulous dress by a great designer…hmmm, how about Sarah Burton the designer who created Kate Middleton’s wedding gown? You’ll need to have stacks of books on hand for signing…

Your book is made into a movie, nominated for numerous academy awards. You walk the red carpet. Of course you’ll need another fabulous designer dress…ahhh, success.

What? Have I gone too far? What are your fantasies? I’d really like to know.

Advertisements

One Response to “From Fetishes to Fantasies at Fact to Fiction”


  1. Wow, Tari. You’ve got it all thought all. Very glam, too. Me? Um…It’s funny because I feel like I dream big, but compared to you I sound sort of mundane. 😉

    1. I image The Call coming from an editor who is eager to publish the manuscript I submitted and who offers me a contract to write two more books.

    2. I write the next two books and they are published with the first as a series. The first round of reviews is favorable, including props from Smart Bitches.

    3. I have a blast growing this blog and my twitter account as I interact with readers about my books.

    4. I hire a professional to redesign my website so it has a fully functioning community where we all can hangout and cheer eachother on as we mingle with readers and book reviewers. (I’ll have lots of giveaways and free workshops, too.)

    5. I attend conferences and am asked speak on topics like social media, digital publishing and how freaking cool it is to buy books instantly from my iPad.

    6. The series is a hit, landing me on the USA Today and yes, the NYT best sellers lists.

    7. I have book reviews on blogs and websites, and the ratings and reviews on Goodreads number in the thousands.

    8. I write and sell more books, new series.

    9. I am able to file an income tax return with my profession as author instead of writer. (Because in my mind, having been a paid non-ficiton writer for many years, there is a difference.)

    10. I convert my storybook one-car garage into a charming writing cottage, fit for a romance author and her two pug puppies, Emerson and Hemingway.

    Who’s next?

    E

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s