Tari Sexy? Who Searched for That?

August 8, 2012

We’ve been keeping this blog for over a year, and occasionally I’ll look through blog statistics to get an idea of who’s stopping by and what they’re stopping by for. Looking through the last year’s search terms (words and phrases that when plugged into a search engine bring people to the blog), I had a good laugh, so I thought I’d pass some of my favorites along.

Tari Sexy

Yep, like the title of this post says, someone searched for that. Maybe it was her “hunky hubby,” but from what I know about him, he’s a pretty involved guy, and I bet he knows the url for this blog without needing to Google it…like that. So THAT leads me to believe Tari has a secret admirer, or stalker…or sex tape. Of course, there could be another sexy Tari roaming the planet, but I highly doubt that. 😉

How to remove voices in your head

I shouldn’t be making fun of this one. Mental disorders are a scary thing. But the idea of visiting a writer’s blog in search of ways to remove the voices in one’s head is, well, scary too. We like our voices. We do whatever it takes to keep them talking. We’re not crazy. We’re creative.

Message to searcher: If the voices in your head belong to a strong hero and a feisty heroine destined to fall in love, then by all means, stick around the blog, where you will learn to pull those voices from your head and put them on paper. BUT, if the voices in your head belong to negative characters who drag you down and push you into things you wouldn’t normally do—harmful things—then get off Google and contact a licensed mental health professional.

Broken Microwave Dream

Multiple people searched for this. Really? Is this a new phenomenon, dreaming of broken microwaves, dreaming of breaking your microwave? Is it a psychedelic fantasy? A new Katy Perry song? I’m at a loss over this one.

Sentences for 1st Impressions on Ladies

Like for dating? How about this? “Hi, my name’s ____. What’s yours?” Keep it simple. Anything calculative will have her running in the other direction.

All the charectrers in the book the year of the boar and Jackie robinson

Nice spelling, huh? I assume this is a student trying to shortcut some English/Literature homework. By the spelling, I’m thinking the kid has shortcut many things about his/her education.

Message to searcher: Read the book, buddy! This is a blog about writing and reading—with one blogger a former English teacher. You will find not support or shortcuts here.

Sexhot+rap

Obviously this person was looking for Nicole, the aforementioned former English teacher who lives in the Midwest and writes about wide open spaces and how the love of a good woman can make a good man. *giggles* Yep, hot sex PLUS rap, totally equals Nicole…definitely not me, the blogger with the complete collection of Eminem on her phone. *shakes head* Not me at all.

Lemon bar rejection

Who the hell rejects a lemon bar? Nuff said.

My ankle

Message to searcher: Dude, if you’re looking for your ankle online. You’re looking in the wrong place. Try your leg—all the way to the bottom by your foot. If it’s not there and that surprises you, then you need to get off the computer and go to the ER.

And there you have it. Hope you got a laugh or two.

Elley

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9 Responses to “Tari Sexy? Who Searched for That?”

  1. taristhread Says:

    That’s too funny!! I’ll be having a talk with Hunky Hubby just to see what he’s been up to…I can see how the ‘broken microwave dream’ ended up there….remember when your new microwave wasn’t working and you had to go to the coffee shop to get your favorite tea??

  2. yhosby Says:

    Those are funny! One that startled me when I looked under my search engine topics that people found my blog from was “fried chicken date rape”. I was like what the freak?

    Keep smiling,
    Yawatta

  3. nicolehelm Says:

    My new tag line… Sexhot +rap

  4. Kindle Gal Says:

    Too freaking funny!!!!

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